The other day I was asking one of my friends whether she thinks I`m a Narcissist or not. I don’t know how it occurred to me but I was seriously thinking deeply about that issue. It’s not that I`m so self obsessed with myself, nor that I don’t think about anyone or anything but myself. It’s just this feeling that you would do anything to protect yourself from the evilness of this world around you. Would put a shield around your heart and only allow very few to sneak into it. So I decided to search deeply about this issue, and what I figured out is that there is something called The Healthy Narcissism (Yes there is one!) and it verses the Destructive Narcissism.
I actually copied this table below from lovely Wikipedia and I found it really interesting and clear.
|Self-confidence||High outward self-confidence in line with reality||An unrealistic sense of superiority (“Grandiose“)|
|Desire for power, wealth and admiration||May enjoy power||Pursues power at all costs, lacks normal inhibitions in its pursuit|
|Relationships||Real concern for others and their ideas; does not exploit or devalue others||Concerns limited to expressing socially appropriate response when convenient; devalues and exploits others without remorse|
|Ability to follow a consistent path||Has values; follows through on plans||Lacks values; easily bored; often changes course|
|Foundation||Healthy childhood with support for self-esteem and appropriate limits on behaviour towards others||Traumatic childhood undercutting true sense of self-esteem and/or learning that he/she doesn’t need to be considerate of others|
In order to be a successful person they say, you should be true to yourself, aware of your achievements and abilities. If you have it, you will be able to successfully write down your goals and pursue them. This kind of Narcissism is a natural element in your development as a successful human being.
If you want to give, you should love yourself first. You cannot always sacrifice your life and time for others; you should have your own. Appreciate yourself, your body and your soul.
“Narcissus does not fall in love with his reflection because it is beautiful, but because it is his. If it were his beauty that enthralled him, he would be set free in a few years by its fading.”
W. H. Auden